


Promises

by Nightwinging_it



Series: The Aftermath [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Destroy Ending, M/M, Post War, Shenko - Freeform, mShenko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 22:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18291815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwinging_it/pseuds/Nightwinging_it
Summary: The doctors all tell Kaidan that Commander Shepard may not recover, may never be the same if he does. But Kaidan won't give up on the man he loves.





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for the original trilogy, so I hope I didn't do too bad! I just have a lot of feelings about the destroy ending and what would happen in the aftermath!

Kaidan spent his time split between the rebuilding efforts on earth, and sitting in the hospital waiting room.

_He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive, he's ali_

His mind was on repeat as he fought to keep his eyes open, the waiting room chair hurting his back.

_ve, he’s alive, they found him, they found him, he’s alive_

“Major Alenko?”

Kaidan snapped his head up, and the nurse in front of him startled back a little. She held out a cup of coffee, and Kaidan took it from her.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice polite but his eyes announcing that he was barely aware of the moment.

The nurse left him, and he sipped the coffee, hardly registering the way it burned his tongue. He was so tired, but he refused to leave the hospital. He spent daylight working to rebuild earth, and nights saw him here, waiting for any scrap of news.

They were keeping the news of Shepard’s survival quiet, as “survival” was a pretty loose term to use right now. The doctors were working their hardest to save the galaxy’s hero, but they’d warned the crew of the Normandy that it didn’t look good.

The crew hadn’t been allowed to see him yet. He was undergoing surgeries to repair his severely damaged body, and the doctors had put him in a medically induced coma.

But still, Kaidan waited. The staff would bring him coffee and food, and sometimes he’d drift off to sleep and wake up with a blanket draped over his lap. The doctor occasionally came out to tell him some news- “It was looking bad; he’s stable today; his surgery went well; we were afraid we were about to lose him; no change today”.

They kept trying to prepare Kaidan for the worst, but he wouldn’t accept that. Shepard would make it. He wouldn’t leave Kaidan behind.

“He has extensive physical damage,” the doctors told Kaidan. “If he pulls through, his recovery will be long and painful. The mental trauma will likely be worse than the physical trauma, and that’s saying something.”

Kaidan took another sip of coffee. They’d find a way. They always did.

“You still awake, Alenko?”

Garrus sat down next to Kaidan. He spent a lot of time lingering around the hospital too, waiting for any news.

“The coffee helps,” Kaidan said, despite how exhausted he felt.

It had been weeks since they’d fixed the Normandy and returned to earth. Weeks since the news that they’d recovered Shepard from the ruins of London, barely alive and in critical condition. Weeks since the surgeries and medical procedures to fix his broken body had begun.

“You should get some rest,” Garrus said, an argument they’d had plenty of times already. “I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“I’m fine,” Kaidan said, his grip on the coffee tightening. He wouldn’t leave. He knew Shepard had spent a lot of time by his bedside after he’d been injured on Mars. When Kaidan had regained consciousness, Shepard had hurried right over, despite the war and his duties. He’d put all that aside to see Kaidan, to make sure he was okay.

Kaidan would stay here whenever he could. When Shepard woke up, he’d be there.

Garrus didn’t push the issue this time, just leaned back in the chair. “We saved the galaxy. You’d think they could at least get us a more comfortable chair to sit in.”

“You can face down Reapers, but you can’t handle a stiff chair?” Kaidan said.

“All I’m saying is that the Reapers didn’t destroy every comfortable chair on this planet,” Garrus grumbled.

They lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Things had been hectic as the galaxy tried to recover from the war. There was so much going on, so much to do, so much to fix. Kaidan was still a soldier and a Spectre; he had his duties to complete.

He chugged the rest of the coffee, hoping the caffeine would buy him another hour or two of consciousness. If he fell asleep, he might dream.

He had plenty of nightmares of those final moments. Nearly being crushed; Shepard pulling him to the Normandy; Shepard telling Kaidan he loved him before running right back at the Reapers. His mind conjured up ghastly images of Shepard’s broken body lying in the ruins of the world he’d saved, struggling for each breath as he waited to be found. He dreamt of searching the ruins and finding only blood and a familiar piece of N7 armor, waking in a cold sweat.

Kaidan looked up at the footsteps approaching him and Garrus. The doctor currently looking after Shepard stood before them, his knuckles white from how tightly he gripped his clipboard. Kaidan sat up straighter, his stomach churning like it always did. As hard as he hoped for good news, he knew bad was more likely.

“He’s conscious,” the doctor said quietly, grip tightening even more.

Kaidan’s heart stuttered, and he gripped the arms of the chair. Garrus sank down in the chair a little.

The doctor held up a hand, though. “Barely conscious. He’s regained consciousness a few times, but we usually have to put him back under. We’re trying to let him stay awake longer to monitor his progress. A familiar face might help. But only one. He’s still weak.” He hesitated, and added, “The man you last saw is not the man you’re about to see.”

“Go,” Garrus said to Kaidan, his voice strained. He wanted to see his friend, so badly. But he wouldn’t be selfish. He wouldn’t keep Kaidan from Shepard.

Kaidan stood up, nodding at the doctor because he couldn’t find words. The doctor led him down the hallway, back towards the ICU.

“Major Alenko, I can’t warn you enough,” he cautioned. “John Shepard was barely alive when they found him, and his recovery hasn’t even started. We’ve been fighting just to keep him breathing while we fixed the worst of his injuries.”

“I’m going in there,” Kaidan said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

The doctor nodded slowly. “Of course, Major Alenko. All I ask is that you don’t try to have a conversation with him. He’s not strong enough for even that yet. You can talk to him, but don’t try to get him to respond, and please don’t mention anything about the war. It’s likely he’ll tire and fall back asleep within minutes. I’ll remain in the room to be safe, but I won’t get in your way.”

They approached a door and he put his hand on the handle. He looked to Kaidan, who gave a nod. The doctor closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them and pushing the door open.

Kaidan kept his eyes down as he walked to the bed. He finally dragged his gaze up to look at Shepard, and found his knees giving out.

He dropped hard into the chair next to Shepard’s bed. His hands trembled and he gripped the chair to steady himself.

Shepard was covered in thick bandages. Even where there were no bandages, there were healing cuts and burns. He was hooked up to so many wires and tubes that Kaidan wasn’t even sure which were causing certain machines to beep out his vitals. He had an oxygen mask fixed in place on his face. He looked beaten and mangled, sickly and pale.

But his eyes were open.

They were barely open, his gaze unfocused. His body occasionally twitched or jerked in pain, making his heart rate speed up for a few moments. His breathing was unsteady, labored.

“John?” Kaidan finally managed, his voice weak with a mingling of horror and relief.

The doctor had taken a seat in the farthest corner of the room, trying to give the two privacy, a nurse standing at his side and whispering to him, pointing at the charts she had. Kaidan appreciated the attempt to give them space.

He reached out, terrified to touch Shepard. He was injured everywhere. He was broken.

But Kaidan touched his fingers to the back of Shepard’s bandaged hand. “John?”

Shepard’s eyes seemed to roll to the side, his gaze falling on Kaidan, still unfocused. But his fingers twitched, and Kaidan let the tips of their fingers touch.

“I’m here, John,” he whispered. He forced a shaky smile. “You did it. I knew you would. And you didn’t leave me behind.”

Shepard’s fingers twitched again, like he was trying to lift his hand. Kaidan shook his head, resting his hand lightly over Shepard’s.

“Don’t,” he said. “Just rest.”

Shepard dragged his gaze up to Kaidan’s face, staring at him with tired eyes. Kaidan forced that shaky smile to stay on his face. He felt like crying, like screaming, like rebuilding the Reapers so he could tear them apart with his bare hands. But it was his turn to stay strong.

“When you get better, Garrus and I are going to buy you so many drinks,” he said, just to keep talking. “I’ve been looking after your fish and your hamster. They’re fine. I think the hamster misses you, though. He keeps biting my fingers. He never bit you.”

He shifted his hand so the tips of their fingers were touching again. He could feel those weak twitches from Shepard’s hand, the only response he seemed able to muster.

“Yea, little bastard, that hamster,” Kaidan said. Shepard was reacting. He was listening. He was alive. He was trying to lift his hand again, but Kaidan shook his head. “Stop being stubborn, John. Just rest for now. The sooner you’re better, the sooner I can show you what it’s like to enjoy a beer by the English Bay with the sun rising.” He tried to picture the scene himself; Shepard on the mend, the two sitting side by side in the stillness of early morning. Kaidan getting to share his favorite view with his favorite person. “Yea, John, I can’t wait to show you that view. That’s a promise.”

Shepard’s fingers nearly managed to curl this time, and Kaidan could’ve sworn he saw Shepard’s lips twitching up towards a smile behind the oxygen mask. Shepard’s head lolled to the side and his eyes closed slowly, his breathing evening out just a bit.

Kaidan didn’t move, and the doctor didn’t kick him out of the room. Kaidan kept their fingertips touching, watching the slow rise and fall of Shepard’s chest.

It was the most important promise Kaidan had ever made in his life. It meant he expected Shepard to pull through this. It meant he was planning to stay by his side no matter what happened next. It meant they’d beat the odds once again.

It meant they’d be together.

It was a promise Kaidan Alenko would not break.


End file.
